Friday, May 05, 2006

If you are happy and you know it…


I’m having that Friday afternoon, better do it now, anxiety about posting, but here I sit with not much to say. Things are moving along as always slow and steady. Not to high, not to low. Not to hot, not to cold, man it sucks to be me.

I did purchase a ticket for the lotto ~ 35 million dollars, so I have a least a small window of spending the money in my mind, before my hopes are dashed and some 92 year old billionaire with no family wins it and wills it to his 13 year old Pomeranian “Mitzy" and the society for Pomeranian acceptance.

I was having some sort of break down earlier in the week and wondering why this whole God thing wasn’t the thrill a minute that I had anticipated. It is hard work loving your neighbour and all that jazz. It is even harder when you have the Zippy 2000 model of brain that questions everything. But upon reflection and a good dose of counselling it was brought to my attention that perhaps this is a good thing, running this whole commitment to a better life on faith and not on feelings. You build a foundation on feelings and you are apt to come crashing down hard when the feelings ebb. More like real life love than the Hollywood version. So I am good with that and I keep trudging on. Don’t get me wrong there are some obvious signs and wonders in my life, a peace that I didn’t have before, a renewed love for my husband that I can only credit the supernatural for, cause believe you me it was just not in me by my power alone, and a thirst for knowledge. I need to relax and realize that I don’t need to be a super Christian right out of the gate, but it is a process of growth and change. Good thing!

On the weight loss front, I picked up a book last night that had been kicking around in my ginormous stack of diet books for a while called the Weigh Down diet. (I wonder how many fat girls out there don’t have a ginormous stack of diet books?) It is different that anything I have ever tried before, but maybe that is what I need. It talks about stopping dieting and recognizing hunger, eating only when hungry, and asking God for help. It says some people may need to go up to 36 hours before they have hunger, but the body will regulate once it gets used to performing as it was designed. I kind of believe it. I don’t remember the last time I have ever been hungry. I am so programmed to eat at the designated times ~ and all stops in between ~ that hunger is foreign to me. When I do on the rare occasions feel that sight twinge, well then I am starving and fading away to a shadow LOL. I am going to read the book and then give it a try. I paid a whole 50 cents for it at the Sally Ann so it is not like it is a huge investment. I obviously need something new as the same old, same old just ain’t cutting the mustard.

Well groovy girls/guys have a super weekend. See ya on the flip side (unless I win the 35 million and then in the words of Cartman – "screw you guys I’m going home" well in my case shopping!)

Bean

2 Comments:

Blogger Kim said...

Hi Bean! I hope that you have a great weekend too! :)

10:25 AM  
Blogger snackiepoo said...

I think that finding God and letting him light your way in life is always not as cut and dry as people want to think or say it is. I know that I strive to be more God-like each day but fail now and then.....I've learned to NOT beat myself up but to continue asking for forgiveness and being the best person I can. I am by no means perfect, but I do love God and know that he brings the goodness to my life so I stick with trying. I feel like I can be this great person as long as someone doesn't do something to hurt my feelings....then I forget how to turn the other cheek...but I am learning.

I'm fighting being a half Italian Scorpio too :). Don't worry, life is a journey anyway!

3:59 PM  

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