Friday, August 12, 2005

Husband for sale

Well how about that, I promised and I will deliver damn it.

So the continuing saga continues. Thank God it is Friday. This weekend we will be going camping and surprisingly I am quite excited about the whole venture. The kids love it and I guess I have to give up all aspirations of being a hotel/pool vacationer for the startling realization that I live on a camping/lake budget.

Speaking of budgets, this is where the problems mentioned in the previous post come in to play. I have a good job. It pays well, however not well enough to support a household of four. Almost, but not quite. Well my husband drives school bus. This is fantastic arrangement. No day care costs, as the munchkins can go on the bus with him. However he didn’t start this until January full time, after I pressured him in to getting the job. We ended up going bankrupt anyway, but that is another story. So here we are at the end of June and it looks as if Hubby is going to be just shy of getting unemployment for the summer. What would be the logical thing for him to do? Get a part time job. But no. He has not looked, he has not applied anywhere and we are once again getting behind on the bills. Why can’t he see that he alone has the power to change this situation and make things better?

Anyway this has been a matter of contention in the house, to the point where I have given up. Maybe even given up on my marriage.

I just don’t understand. How hard is it for him to go out and get a part time job to help out. I am not asking him to go break his back or anything. Hell, work at a gas station – self serve and take the money. You think at the least he would enjoy the break from the kids and perhaps even some air conditioning. This frustrates me so much. I think that, he thinks, that when he gets back to driving bus in September that this will all go away, he will be bringing in money again and ladedada we will continue on. I don’t know if this will happen. I am hurt. I know that if it was me, I would do ANYTHING to fix the problem. Why can’t he?

So needless to say this has been weighing heavily on my mind, to the point where I called to see what kind of day care subsidies are available in this area. Plenty.

So what to do? Do I walk away from the last 12 years of my life? I don’t know.

So I guess the old saying, its not what your eating, it's what's eating you, may hold some truth. I sure would like to get to the place in my life where I could deal with things like this without turning to my doughnut therapy.

Thanks for letting me get that off my chest.

Have a great weekend. I will give the great camping update on Monday.


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11:43 PM  

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