Friday, May 20, 2005

Long weekends are for....

...hopefully me. I am dropping the kids at the grandparents on Saturday, so hubby and I can reconnect. We are spending Sunday night at the resort that my sister works at. Very nice. I am looking forward to it. You know what they say about hotel s@x. That is if we can both stay awake which seem to be the theme in our life right now.

I learned a valuable lesson this week. I was wondering how I could gain weight after WLS and discovered the answer to my question. I was in the city yesterday for a meeting. I ended up consuming 47 points for the day. Nutty. I am glad that I tracked it though. A donught with coffee on the way up. Cafeteria lunch, biscotti and tea for the way home. Tired and cranky when I actually returned home which led to some mindless eating. Then a small supper. I was actually suprised when I caculated it all at the end of the day. I am not beating myself up about it though. Live and learn. It just goes to show ou that it is not hard to overeat and abuse food. I wasn't blatently trying to break my diet. I jsut did not make the right choices.

This incident made me realize how important the actual tracking is for me. Being honest with myself and trying to learn to make better choices. Not the easiest row to hoe but I am getting there surely but slowly.

I didn't lose any weight on weigh in but I didn't gain any either. This makes me a bit mental but I have to step back, take a deep brath and move on. If this happens next week I will eliminate my Points allowance. and just try to stick to my 28 points a day. I think I am suffering from TOM syndrome as well so perhaps it will show up on Wednesday, if I don't have more days like yesterday.

The question is do I really want this? Sure I want to be thin. Sure I want to be healthier, but I have to figure this out. Food is my drug. I need to let this addiction go.

I saw someone yesterday who has lost 100 pounds since I last saw her. It was quite an amazing revelation. I can do this. I just need to change that sentence to I will do this. If it is meant to be it is up to me. Blah blah blah.

Have a great long weekend.



Blogger snackiepoo said...

Hi Bean - thanks for visiting my blog and I look forward to reading far, I am loving your honesty and I know you can do it....I feel the same way some days :).

11:27 AM  

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